If I could journey back in time,
What would I change in my life?
I have two lovely children,
So I guess I’ll just change the wife.
Then I would go back in time,
To a point when I was young.
And kick the bugger’s ****,
For the times he failed instead of won.
I’ll tell him that I’m the devil,
And if I catch him drinking and smoking.
Hell is a fiery place where he will dell,
And kick his **** to show I’m not joking.
I’ll install the bible doctrine in him
And give him the foundation as a starter pack
Then I’ll nip back in time now and then
And kick his **** to keep him on track
Hopefully I will turn out well
A better Christian than what I’m now
For if I don’t then I’ll go back
And kick his **** and that is my vow.
I think they should change the wedding vows
We'll keep honor and obey
But I have a few of my own to add
And here is what they'd say
Do you promise to tell this man
He's as handsome as can be
And will you let him watch his football
Every Sunday on tv
An will you promise everyday
To make him breakfast in bed
And put your mom in a old folk's home
When she wants to move in instead
Do you promise to rub his feet
Every night when he gets home
And bring him the evening paper
While he relaxes on the throne
Will you promise not to ask him
If you're gettin fat
Will you let him hide the credit cards
And not ask him where they're at
And promise when he tells you no
You'll never ask him why
Don't make him watch a chick flick
And never ever cry
If they'd use these words I've added
It could change our life
I'd be the perfect husband
And you, the perfect wife