Best Funnyfunny Poems
it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
but the funniest part of all, is none of that is funny to me
Watchin TV on my buddy's wide screen
who do I see "Hey, thats Charlie Sheen!"
they're talkin about how he got'z fired
and they're wonderin who they have hired
"Man he look's like he's on drug'z!"
"look he's pickin at imaginary bug'z!"
Captain Mike know'z dim drugs are bad
so to see him this way is very sad
any woman but my wife give'z me the bores
"Hey! old Charlie there got'z two whores!"
if he goes broke it won't be funny
"All they want is some of charlie's money!"
"It's good thing what his exwife did'z"
hate to see anything happin to the kid'z
"If I had a show I'd make funny clean."
unlike Charlie I wouldn't make a seen
if good clean comedy everyone would like
"They should make TV show of Old Capt. Mike!"
"I got'z a life time of funny stories to tell"
instead of listening to Charlie ring his own bell
"Give me a chance hollywood to make a clean coin!"
"I'll end every episode with a clean funny poem!"
by Cap-pin Mike!
I just can't escape my fate
I guess I was born to write
I've joined the realm of rattling chains...( applies oil to chains )
And things that go bump in the night...( bump! )
A different dimension is now my home
And I can even walk through walls...( see? )
I'm cursed to write these funny poems
While walking and haunting your halls... ( trips over chair )
Now, I don't wear a sheet on my head... ( place ghostly moaning sound here )
That's simply not who I am... ( rattles chains! )
I'm something like an apparition
For I'm no longer a man
I dare you to read my poems
As I beckon from the grave... ( boo )
I'll poison you with my funny lines
Til you brains I shall enslave... ( coughs )
I've now become the Ghost Writer
The one you knew has vanished...( Where'd I go? )
So I'll haunt you with my ghostly verse
Til one day I'm finally banished...( The End )