Wonder

There's not much for me to do now except to sit here and wonder how I arrived at where I am today and I have to say I am afraid that the best of times have past me by gone...in a blink of an eye break down and cry huh all the time crying for the good times that past and the bad times that have carried on crying for the happy moments and the sad ones that will never be gone remembering so much yet forgetting everything all the time your wondering how to really love you think you know but it's all an illusion it's wrapped up in so much damn confusion then it's went so far you don't see anyway out you look around and all you see is doubt you begin to realize it's you that's changed your life got rearranged how, why, where, and when you don't know exactly but that's what it did then it hits you now what you must do this has to be fixed and no one can do it but you so you leave, and never look back you can forgive but will never forget where you've been you turn around only briefly to see just how for you've come those fears were finally faced time to move on... nothing to do now but sit here and wonder how I can never seem to get my head out of the clouds my thoughts everyday turn to him so far away he's always been the one I've longed to hold and by just looking deep into his eyes never needing to be told how much he loves me cause I'd already know god I do need him so I miss everything about him his touch, smile, and sound of his voice it's like I no longer have a choice I have to raise my voice and let it be heard I know that I have to take this chance or let it slip away once and for all forever yes I'm scared of the unknown my fears and tears though are now being outweighed because of the love I have for him I don't want to keep sitting here with nothing to do I no longer want to wonder I know I'm in love with you but I wonder so much do you still feel it to I need to know for sure so I can move on... with or without you here