Elton Camp Poet Rhyme

Why I Hate Shopping At Snarl-Mart

Why I Hate Shopping at Snarl-Mart 
  
By Elton Camp

The parking lot’s hard to bear
For it must be a mile square

Any spot close to the door,
No parking there anymore.

Dozens of them are labeled
“For use only by the disabled.”

Enough for every wheelchair
Within a hundred miles of there.

At the door, I nearly start to choke
Employees around taking a smoke

Seems the store should care
About them standing there

Also, people sitting at a table.
“To give to us, are you able?”

If not when on your way in,
Upon your exit, we ask again

“I came here for prices cheap.
What I have, I need to keep.”

Have to leave you in the lurch
Don’t believe in your church.

Once I am inside the door
I find shopping carts galore

All lined up in a neat row
Maybe washed a year ago

Of customers there’s no lack
Every aisle the shoppers pack

In groceries, where I first go
Everything is from Mexico

I buy it only with a sigh
Hope it won’t have E. coli

When I look for my favorite cans
Been replaced with store brands

Bakery goods look a delight 
But trans fats in every bite

No care about customer health
Only interest is chain’s wealth

To other areas, I then leave
There to find an awful peeve

Nearly stirs up my angina
Everything is from China

Their buyers surely must prize
What’s made by slanted eyes

When goods there have been made
It makes worse the balance of trade

It’s very hard, in this day
To find, “Made in USA.”

I gladly would pay a bit more
But isn’t to be found in this store

Unemployment at a high percent
Very clear where our jobs went

However, they’ve got us on the spot
Impossible, foreign-made to boycott

Next, it makes me want to shout
At long it takes me to check out

Does no good for me to complain
Nobody is working express lane

Checkers working only two or three
No matter how long the lines may be.

If some items just won’t scan
Seems they have no simple plan

All those in line will be delayed
The store’s price must be paid

Checker says, “It’s not my fault.
Just doing as I’ve been taught

Bag the groceries not too well
Taters on bread? What the hell?

There is such a powerful rush
Cans atop eggs, which they crush

So many items put in plastic sack
Handles tear off before I get back

As I enter kitchen door
All will spill in the floor

I hope this explains the reasons why
At Snarl-Mart, I truly do hate to buy.

Yet, I have to return another day.
The other stores, they ran away.

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