Why Elton Only Dates Christians, Part I
You want to know who that guy is back there?
That’s Elton Briggs, and I have to say,
hot as you think that man may be,
you would be better off staying away.
You see I know all about that man,
he used to go out with my best friend Kris,
until they had a nasty break-up,
and we all learned that he was a fascist.
Elton will only date Christian girls now,
and you won’t believe the reason why,
it all began back in our sophomore year,
when everything seemed to be going fine…
See Elton and Kris were so much in love,
and I though that one day they would wed,
they finished each other’s sentences,
then would spend most of their free-time in bed.
Elton was going to be a lawyer,
Kris was working to learn how to teach,
always they were in each other’s arms,
it seemed the kind of love none could defeat.
But in their passion they had a slip-up,
and Kris looked upon those two little lines,
so she went out to take care of it,
since it had come at a very bad time.
And when she mentioned it four days later,
Elton erupted in a shouting scene,
they even called campus security,
you should’ve heard the way that mad-man screamed!
We thought Kris had found herself a winner,
but good lord did we all misread it,
he ranted and called her a “murderer,”
claimed that it also had been his kid.
Then raved that he should have talked to him,
as if he should have any say at all!
claimed the kid was,”Not part of your body,”
and that removing it,”wasn’t our call...”
CONCLUDES IN PART II.
Copyright © David Welch | Year Posted 2019
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