Home » Poems » Hina Nasir » When I Leave

When I Leave

When I‘ll get over with this, With this suffocation, I want you my Creator, To make it a memorable day. Be it unlike a usual day, though their hearts would still beat, sun would rise and set, life would be just as it was before, so Let me write down something at least, my shroud be unlike some others, Even I would've aged, powder me, THE END should end beautifully. Don’t widen your eyes, I’m a simple person with simple unfulfilled Desires, That meant life, accept that, Be careful because I was too a bastion like you. When I’m done with the later offerings, I 'll know, I will be listening __ For all the answers that I have awaited for so long. closely, in the dust, in the air, Out there, I‘ll be watching , vehemently.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

M. Shahid H. Chouhdry

Date: 8/31/2014 3:04:00 AM

I want you my Creator, To make it a memorable day. Once Poetry Verse One Poet Live Yes this is the true picture how you painted this in elegant way, the above three quatrain verse flow and poetic tone is well above ,and I can see the flow in each and evry verse even that there is no usage of consonant and alteration but you touch up all these in poetic way.Well DOne ,Keep Doing what you are doing.

Hina Nasir
Date: 8/31/2014 11:01:00 AM

thankyousomuch!!!!!

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/25/2014 7:01:00 PM

hehe, Thank you Hina

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/23/2014 5:38:00 PM

Hina, :) Thank you for the sweet reply, on my comment. I'm a little late, getting back to all the replies, left a while back. XOX ~LINDA~

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/24/2014 8:39:00 AM

oh its perfectly okay np... :-) hina

Saba Khan

Date: 7/18/2014 2:31:00 AM

Hey Sorry for being late but Welcome to the soup :) Hope you're having a good Ramadan :) :) :) Enjoy your time here..this is very good poem of yours..Good Luck for the future and congrats for on having your poem featured on the soup's home page..Stay in touch :) -p.s Thank you very much for commenting on my poem :) --- Saba :)

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/19/2014 7:09:00 AM

OH THANKS A LOT saba .. n yes having perfect fasting and just umm now waiting for Eid ..i say :-P LOL ... once again thank you so much ..:-)

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/9/2014 12:24:00 AM

Hello Hina, once again, Congratulation, on having your poem featured on the soup's home page. Always & Forever ~LINDA~

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/9/2014 7:22:00 AM

THANKYOU SO Much Linda ... thanks a lot , my poem just moved from 1st to 4th set , i hope it doesn't disappear lol just kidding ..once again thanks a lot for appreciating . ..hina

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/7/2014 9:28:00 PM

Hi Hina, , A nice warm WELCOME to poetry soup. I hope you enjoy the community, as I did when I first join, March 2010. You'll find many friendly poets, who are ready to support and give positive feedback. I want to be the first to invite you on over, to the contest page. I OFFER MY CONTEST, in hopes it inspires you to write another poem. I'm looking forward to following you and your poetry ha-ha a special pair:) here's the link to the contest page. http://www.poetrysoup.com/poetry_contests/ <---~Take Care!! From: your new poet friend @-> LINDA <-@

Skat A

Date: 7/7/2014 8:07:00 PM

Hina,, Stopping by with a nice, sweet Welcome to Poetry Soup. I will get much delight, in reading and in time become familiar with your verse. As for now, I will greet you with the same smile, others passed, when I first join the soup 4 years ago. I wish you the best when it comes to your compositions. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here. Starting with me. SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you wish. I would like to be your newest poetry soup "FRIEND" Hugs* SKAT

Saba Khan
Date: 7/18/2014 2:34:00 AM

Haey shukkr ha koi to aya Pakistan ka :P :P

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/9/2014 7:45:00 AM

thanks a lot SKAT..:-) you have a very different name , i m from Pakistan and a Muslim , i just did my graduation and was totally free,meanwhile found this awesome place to project my words and get new friends as well . i would as well feel quite exuberant if you tell me about yourself , ..where are you from ? n so on ..new friend. Hina

Faye Gibson

Date: 7/5/2014 6:01:00 PM

Welcome to Poetry Soup, Hina. I am glad you discovered this nice community of writers and hope you enjoy the site. Read the work of other poet's and comment if you find something you like; many poets will return the favor. Over time you will get to "know" some of us. You are welcome to visit my page anytime. Enjoy!

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/6/2014 7:32:00 AM

thanks a lot Faye for such a warm welcome..seriously ..that meant a lot

Hari Das

Date: 7/3/2014 4:16:00 PM

hi heena ....nice written u have to go long...death comes with the soul of that last breath which comes every day when words come for a second or a minute... hmmm....

Hina Nasir
Date: 7/3/2014 6:08:00 PM

thankyu so much hari for the comment. n yes you are right about death ..wellsaid!