Home » Poems » Rebecca Kiser » When Death Comes Unexpectedly

When Death Comes Unexpectedly

You had two months to live
No one told you, no one warned you
No one knew

I can’t look you in the eyes
I tried, a thousand times
But what once felt safe seemed savage
What once was certain proved damaged
The wreckage was drastic

Do I blame myself?

Or do I blame you?

You had two days to live
No one told you, no one warned you
No one knew
The one thing I wanted
Was to tell you what I wanted -

The truth

To look you in the eyes
And say those haunting 3 words -
I never did

You had two minutes to live
No one told me, no one warned me
I didn’t know
But you knew
You knew
What you were thinking
What you were wanting
What you were longing for
Is what I long to know
But I don’t know

I may never know
 
Truth is I still feel afraid of what was left before you parted
Ashamed of what has never mended
Scared of second chances
A chance I should be dying to take
But what if I still can’t look you in the eye?
What kind of a person would that make me?

I’m afraid to know

Meanwhile healing comes so slowly 
And not from a lack of trying
Believe me, I try
Just wish it didn’t need to take you dying for me to figure that out
But now I know

Now I know

deathgriefi miss youelegiac lyric

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