What Are the Ems

You can have all the produce in my garden except the Ems. What are the Ems? I asked my more enlightened friends. His magical mushrooms, they have minds and they talk. I laughed at their imaginations; my laugh much like a squawk. Einstein was here, and he declared these mushrooms wise. He doused them with empathy, intelligence, no surprise. I stared at the speaker. Was she insane, crazy, or worse? She took a tiny brain out of her magnificent purse. I captured his brain, she told me. It is right here, listening. It was dull and gray with bits of pink, in no way glistening. Is that an EM? I asked her, wondering still about those. No, and you’d best not ask anyone about them, they’re froze. Frozen Ems, mushrooms with minds, and Einstein, all in one day. I started making excuses, and I sidled quickly and comfortably away. Did you get any produce? The farmer asked me with concern. No, I replied. Then I ran over the hill and hid under a miniature fern.