What a Birthday Present

For my fifty-sixth birthday I was expecting a large check. He had indicated that he was giving me something extra delightful. It is coming the day before your birthday. Hooray! A day early! I could hardly sleep. I was excited! It came in a Lowe’s truck. A large Lowe’s truck. Refrigerator? Big screen TV? New kitchen cupboards? No. No. No. I knew it was not jewelry now, but probably something expensive. After they unloaded it complete with red wagon I was consternated, confused, cantankerous, and caustic. You got me a riding lawnmower for my birthday? Since it was a gift to me, I could do anything I wanted with it. Right? I called up the caretaker at the church and donated it to them. He was exceeding pleased. Came to pick it up within twelve hours. I told my husband to never buy me a riding lawn mower again. Not that I had to.