What a Birthday Present

For my fifty-sixth birthday I was expecting a large check.
He had indicated that he was giving me something extra delightful.
It is coming the day before your birthday. 
Hooray! A day early! I could hardly sleep.
I was excited!

It came in a Lowe’s truck.
A large Lowe’s truck.
Refrigerator?
Big screen TV?
New kitchen cupboards?
No.
No.
No.

I knew it was not jewelry now, 
but probably something expensive.
After they unloaded it complete with red wagon
I was consternated, confused, cantankerous, and caustic.
You got me a riding lawnmower for my birthday?

Since it was a gift to me, I could do anything I wanted with it.
Right?
I called up the caretaker at the church and donated it to them.
He was exceeding pleased.
Came to pick it up within twelve hours.
I told my husband to never buy me a riding lawn mower again.
Not that I had to.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Hankins Avatar
November 7, 2021 at 7:51 PM
Still laughing. What is God's name was he thinking???? Reminds me when I once gave Deb her biggest Christmas gift...a very expensive Cuisinart mixer with all the attachments. Oh boy, I learned my lesson well. Well, she had always said she wanted one. Never again.
Krutsinger Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 8:32 PM
You have to learn these lessons the hard way don't you, boys?
Hawkins Avatar
November 7, 2021 at 5:44 PM
Actions speak louder than words. Why didn't give it back to your husband so that he can mow the lawn...
Krutsinger Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 8:33 PM
He does not go outside; he has never mowed a yard in his life.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2021 at 5:19 PM
you crease me up with your humour now is it truth or fiction lol, whatever it is its a joy to read!:-) hugs Jan xx
Krutsinger Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 8:33 PM
This is TRUTH.
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