What a Birthday Present
For my fifty-sixth birthday I was expecting a large check.
He had indicated that he was giving me something extra delightful.
It is coming the day before your birthday.
Hooray! A day early! I could hardly sleep.
I was excited!
It came in a Lowe’s truck.
A large Lowe’s truck.
Refrigerator?
Big screen TV?
New kitchen cupboards?
No.
No.
No.
I knew it was not jewelry now,
but probably something expensive.
After they unloaded it complete with red wagon
I was consternated, confused, cantankerous, and caustic.
You got me a riding lawnmower for my birthday?
Since it was a gift to me, I could do anything I wanted with it.
Right?
I called up the caretaker at the church and donated it to them.
He was exceeding pleased.
Came to pick it up within twelve hours.
I told my husband to never buy me a riding lawn mower again.
Not that I had to.
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