Old Timer Rhymer Poet Rhyme

Waffle about offal - it's all about having the GUTS

Does eating livers give you the shivers?

Pouring down your spine tingling rivers

Complaint faint funky iron taint it delivers

OR 

No restraint crave still pink inside slivers

Can feast from many a beast..joy givers

May not look quaint palate whet quivers


Tease with brawn that taxidermy wheeze

In USA said instead fed on head cheese

Every bit stuffed till will fit it is the D B’s


Bred on corn, acorn or lawn yes please

BBQ adorn got the treasure chest keys

Dawn of food p*rn wafts on the breeze


Yakitori glory on charcoals at 400 degrees

Lured hearts skewered story so Japanese

Don’t eschew any parts Phu Lau expertise

Queue for glorious gory stew so Vietnamese

 
Some even scorn puritans say it is a disease

Bigots who hate faggots gravy & mushy peas 

Charlatans upset at andouillette restaurant flees


Scent eau de toilette against etiquette it’s faeces

Hellbent vent if only could see wood from trees

Intestines stench adored by the French & Chinese


Viscera in cucina povera folks broke on their knees

Flavour riots for protein starved diets carved with ease

Sinned if anything binned a saviour for teas do seize


To not be keener on offal is a serious misdemeanor

The innards are cleaner they're also leaner & greener 

Not everything you eat has to be sweet like Ribena

Issue likes of McDonalds & Burger King a subpoena

What the f*ck do think is in your burger or wiener


The goal eat the animal whole like the soul of Nina

Diss the kiss of a haggis in back seat of ford cortina

Prissy hissy fit means they miss best bit of a Medina

Complete baloney as a PC crony will still eat polonis


Phoney wannabes then hiss at bliss of chicharrones

Crazed forsake the glazed patina of pig in Argentina

Show ponies have got a gig at every Latina cantina 

The quest for the zest of simply the best like Tina


Then some dumb fussy fake f**kers just take a swipe

Nunchuckers throw at foodies yep you know the type

Cluckers who at loyal oyster shuckers will snipe


Or whining at us old muckers all dining on tripe

Smile puckers not pukka succour smells too ripe 

Aggro with cartilage suckers denial offal’s all hype
  

Dreads lungs kidneys sweetbreads their gripe

Don’t be hasty viscera so tasty dribbles I wipe 

Drips from my lips while these scribbles I type

Ardour for nature’s larder down my windpipe


Is foie gras a faux pas or nothing else on a par?

With animal lovers all of us foodies will still spar

Band of brothers snaffled fresh from a tin or jar


Snacks then cognacs from racks above the bar

Bistro covers baffled by those voices from afar 

Say ducks and goose lives raffled a social scar


Without fail nose to tail or about snout to trotter

Most hosts in food cultures where we do potter

Roasts organs whether climate’s cold or hotter

Toasts best stuff as silky & milky as panacotta


No boasts or waffle from any anti offal plotter 

There’s no need to bleat be a complete rotter

Cheat not living at home of food just a squatter

No innards inwards ain’t a globe or lobe trotter

 
Gambits from pundits in their pulpits just waffle

Critic's & cynics pyrrhic war stop our offal habit

Locavore hovel no more bandit in sybaritic brothel


Don't have a go join our gang just loving the tang

Lust for must of that offal twang a palpable pang

Heart sang as went for bust eat the whole shebang


Viscera ain’t a chimera so no ifs many butts

But no tut tuts at smutty sluts loving gory gluts

Naysayers stuck in their ruts it drives me nuts


Go off piste because quite simply if kill a beast

At least should on every moreish morsel feast

So get on board and maraud here and abroad

Scoffing our hat doffing to organ smorgasbord

Applaud every bit gnawed it’s all about the GUTS

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