Venting

I have been asking myself what is wrong
Feeling faded while I work all day long
I understand that this fight I can’t win
That’s when the pain begins to set in
I wonder what I can do to change this life
Everything is as dull as an old, rusty knife

I find that chasing happiness is too hard
It is about as random as a playing card
It is more important to give my happiness to friends
They will need it more then me in the end
So I will do whatever I can to fill their needs
I will start to follow instead of lead

As I write this I can feel myself ripping in two
I can feel one part die and there isn’t anything I can do
I can’t say how I let myself get this bad
At this point I feel beyond the feeling of sad
And I have tried to get to the place I once was
But I think I will stop and stay here just cause

Few know me and my friends are fewer still 
My chance for true happiness is close to nil
But I will keep on as guardian to those in need
To keep them above the water, until it recedes
I have already let one close to me drown
I promised myself I will not let anyone else down

So I will watch over them, the people that I love
I will keep them safe like an angel from above
And once they are safe, I will fade away
I will slip from these white hours of the day
I often wonder why God picked me for this task
I hope to get the answers when I get time to ask

I know none of the people around me understand
But when they have felt love from another, then not one can
I have come close three times but it slipped on past
Each time it hurts more, at this rate I can’t last
So I give up on that for my own hearts sake
I don’t care if is real anymore, I will settle for something fake

But enough is enough
I know life is painful, rough, and just tough
So I will stop this page of my pain
I just needed to vent it out before I went insane
Maybe one day my voice will be heard
I thank you for reading my writing and word

Copyright © Justin Rink | Year Posted 2007

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