Venting

I have been asking myself what is wrong Feeling faded while I work all day long I understand that this fight I can’t win That’s when the pain begins to set in I wonder what I can do to change this life Everything is as dull as an old, rusty knife I find that chasing happiness is too hard It is about as random as a playing card It is more important to give my happiness to friends They will need it more then me in the end So I will do whatever I can to fill their needs I will start to follow instead of lead As I write this I can feel myself ripping in two I can feel one part die and there isn’t anything I can do I can’t say how I let myself get this bad At this point I feel beyond the feeling of sad And I have tried to get to the place I once was But I think I will stop and stay here just cause Few know me and my friends are fewer still My chance for true happiness is close to nil But I will keep on as guardian to those in need To keep them above the water, until it recedes I have already let one close to me drown I promised myself I will not let anyone else down So I will watch over them, the people that I love I will keep them safe like an angel from above And once they are safe, I will fade away I will slip from these white hours of the day I often wonder why God picked me for this task I hope to get the answers when I get time to ask I know none of the people around me understand But when they have felt love from another, then not one can I have come close three times but it slipped on past Each time it hurts more, at this rate I can’t last So I give up on that for my own hearts sake I don’t care if is real anymore, I will settle for something fake But enough is enough I know life is painful, rough, and just tough So I will stop this page of my pain I just needed to vent it out before I went insane Maybe one day my voice will be heard I thank you for reading my writing and word