Home » Poems » CayCay Jennings » Valentines Shmalentine

Valentines Shmalentine

I'm indulging myself by re-posting this poem from 2017 because it cracks me up and I thought we might laugh together Oh, no, he best not patronize me on Valentines. If I must dramatize appreciation, I shall agonize. Each year, he thinks chocolates will rationalize spending his time guarding the sofa so it won’t rise, while my cooking and housework threaten to paralyze all I am behind my victimized and exhausted eyes. Unless he bears one, one way ticket for me to paradise or procures a gift he ingests that will tranquilize, he can stuff candy hearts in his behind so gelintized. The last time I fell for that darned, deceiving cupid I committed to him and living my life forever stupid.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Hiba Junaid

Date: 3/18/2025 3:32:00 AM

Hi there buddy, I really enjoy how this poem is just the right amounts of sassy, funny, and kind of sad. Reminds me of dark humor - the kind that's actually charming and not insensitive. I loved the line "Each year, he thinks chocolates will rationalize spending his time guarding the sofa so it won’t rise" Be Blessed always. Love, Hiba.

Hiba Junaid
Date: 3/19/2025 8:14:00 AM

Ugh I hate people like that. I have seen toxic relationships all my life (even though I have never been in one but that's a TMI hehe) so whenever I hear stories like this, I can feel my blood boiling. I'm happy you got out of it, and hey, you got a pretty dope poem out of it. This is what he deserves. Also yes, that is how I pronounce my name. Love your nickname.

CayCay Jennings
Date: 3/18/2025 2:16:00 PM

Sad, no, an angry vent as evolved from the sadness that came first. I have an ex who got up Saturday and went to the couch while I ran around crazed to keep up with home and family needs before Monday came. He inspired this poem, but has no idea slam-poems about him are on the net. What brought you to this poem? I'd like to know if "Ink and Muse" is witty to you, despite the cause for it's existence, I value your opinion. Hi-ba, is that how to say your name? My name is Mary Cay, but family, close friends call me CayCay (you had sweetly complimented my name in another comment) It's a new day, enjoy ... CayCay

Susan Woodrow

Date: 9/20/2022 9:44:00 PM

Lol! Was going thru your writes and this one caught my funny bone! Enjoyed:)

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 3/8/2022 9:50:00 AM

A very late Valentine's Day Wish. This is way toooooooo funny. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. Have a blessed day.............

Swetha Vangaveti

Date: 2/16/2022 2:40:00 PM

"spending his time guarding the sofa so it won’t rise" - This line is fire!! I wish this Valentine turns out to be fair enough soon.

John Lawless

Date: 2/7/2022 3:36:00 AM

Good one CAyCay...that final couplet...

Gershon Wolf

Date: 2/6/2022 7:40:00 PM

I just LOVE the title, CayCay -- and the whole poem as well... Your Valentine Shmalentine must have bleeding hearts (instead of candy hearts) coming out of his derriere by now. lol. (Soup mail, please). Laughter and Levity, Gershon