Unsure and Ashamed

i let my self down again i am always unsure& ashamed ill be the one to blame as long as it makes them happy i think deep about my days, here in my bed alone again i lay, i wish someone would stay if i could find away to ride of my pain my friend lets me no im losing sane my friend let me know everything when did you become so evil,sister you should change your ways, you say you obey him but i don't believe Wat you say i let my self down again i am always unsure & ashamed ill be the one to blame as long as it stops the fighting when did family become enemies,when did i want to turn life away,this side of the leave i turned is very grey and i think is fair to say, **** this all