Unspoken Thoughts

Am I a fool?
I'd run the risk of losing you, just to get some sort of unspoken point across.
However,
fool or not,
you haven't been fair, 
and I deserve better.
I have been the best I can be with you.
I've shown you a part of me that no one has been priveledged to see.
I've given you who I am,
not completely, but naturally, none-the-less.
I've kept hidden the dissatisfaction'
muddled through the sorrow, not wanting to compromise the little position I've 
established in your life.
Only I can't do it anymore.
I can't pretend that all is well, when certainly it is not.
I can't continue to go about the day in make believe, thinking that things will 
simply work themselves out.
It won't.
I now know that.
I did nothing wrong.
I'm a good person, with a good heart.
I care for people in a way that most have never experienced,
myself included.
I love in such an unconditional way,
some would only dream of having an undying love given to them with little effort 
or concern for their own happiness.
Not me!
I just keep on loving.
No matter how many walls I run into head on.
Making every attempt that I know how,
to win some sort of warmth in return.
I can only be who I am.
if you can't except and appreciate that,
then you don't deserve me.
I  want to love you,
and feel that love in return.
I  tried to say that in every word spoken,
you mean the world to me.
Did I fail?
Have I given up?
I've given up the exertion on my part.
But never the HOPE.
I asked God to bless you,
bless me, 
bless us.
I don't want to lose you or let you go.
I don't want to turn and walk away.
What I want is YOU.
and if I have to release you , 
in an effort to get you the right way,
then I'll do just that.
I love you.
I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you.
I've been in love with you since you revealed to me, what I could have in a man.
I'll love you forever,
because my heart knows you are for me.
You can't see me now.
But you'll see me soon.
I am that happiness and serenity you seek.
I'm that calm in the storm of life.
the shelter from the rain,
everything you've wanted in a woman.
Maybe you're afraid,
can't handle what I bring to the table.
or think you don't care.
But you do,
for that reason, I refuse to give up.
Days turn to months,
months to years,
but rest assure that in whatever time it takes.
God will never let you lose sight of what you have,
Which is ME!
Waiting here, for you to find your way to my heart for good.

Copyright © Kelly Adolph | Year Posted 2006

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