Un-Mother

I thought it was the rage I feared
underneath my hurt
underneath the pain 
of being un-mothered

I pushed down the anger - 
rationalized
intellectualized
normalized -
life as a child
with an un-mother

to avoid a rage I feared would destroy me … or her…. or …

a burning, white-hot, fist-punching, legs kicking, eyes blazing, feet stomping, full body rage

how could I not have seen
below the rage?
the tiny steps,
the slumping body,
the hung head,
the heaviness
of grief

a grief for being un-mothered

a grief that threatens to undo me

Oh! if only I had stopped at rage.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Agustin Avatar
May 3, 2024 at 1:29 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed."
Conde Avatar
February 20, 2019 at 6:30 AM
I enjoyed this 1, good job! I like the part were you said Anger Rationalized Intellectualized And normalized. You should be my Therapist lol
Romios Avatar
February 18, 2019 at 9:50 AM
Hi Ruth, You express perfectly the feelings of my friend toward her mother. I could not understand her. I do know. how she loathed Mother's Day. Her rage continues. Panagiota
Krutsinger Avatar
February 10, 2019 at 9:00 PM
Ruth, this poetry is so well done. I am feeling ENRAGED as I read it. I want to kick and scream and yell my hurt and yours too. Wow! Powerful for sure. Welcome to Poetry Soup. Writing is therapeutic for me. I hope it is for you also, my friend.
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