Twas the night before Christmas
"Twas the night before Christmas" and I thought I was dead,
my feet felt like two big clumps of lead.
There was pounding in my head,
all I could see was red.
What a week this had been,
maybe I need a big glass of gin.
The house had to be really clean,
everywhere I hung red and green.
I started cooking my famous pies,
maybe they will win a huge prize.
No mash potatoes just lots of fries,
with a turkey that is full-size.
Tomorrow is Christmas day,
guess Santa will be here with his sleigh.
The kids will want to play,
to my warm bed I will run away.
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