'twas the Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the high
Were two furry reindeer who were too gob-droozled to fly
They had been drinking calli-milk that sealed their fate.
They were lying on their backs, in an inebriated state
Stable master and farm operator brought in two head elves
Should not these two idiots be clearly ashamed of themselves?
The elves they had invited were Tuckle Finger and Jolly Jeremy.
Seeing worse, they concentrated on Santa’s Christmas tree.
Giggling and snorting wolf-bane from the stable in the back
As the drunken idiots laughed away, the elves prepared Santa’s pack.
Nothing could get these two ready any faster than this thought
So they brought in their mothers Big Rose And Dangerous Dot.
The mothers were disgusted and mean with their boys.
Sobering them up quickly in the midst of plenty of noise.
By the time Santa arrived to fly them all night, hard and quick,
They were looking pretty good, but wearing sunglasses, quite thick.
On Dasher! on Dancer! on Rudolph! Let’s make a turn to the right
The elves said a quick prayer as they flew out of immediate sight.
Just then Dasher and Dancer pranced out of number 2 pen
And they all wondered who those poser reindeer had been?
The reindeer were shocked, there should have been clues.
They radioed Santa and told him the disturbing weird news.
Their own mothers were fooled, Santa said, high in the air.
See you tomorrow, for these posers and I do not have a second to spare.
Written 11-22-2018 Contest: The Night Before Christmas
Sponsor: Joseph May
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