Turn Over

Have you ever had one of those days, When nothing goes your way? And the night is long with noises Please don't tell my wife what I'm about to say You see my wife snores More than anyone I know She even shakes the bed at night Like a herd of buffalo Sometimes the people next door Will even call and complain They say they just can't stand it anymore And it's driving them insane I've tried everything I know But all I do is fail She even registers a 4.0 On the earthquake richter scale One night I even tried duct tape And wondered what would happen She just laid there and kept on snoring 'Til the duct tape started flappin' I even tried some super glue On her lips to make them close Until I heard that horrible noise Like a trumpet got stuck in her nose Well, I guess I'll always love her And learn to live with this curse I'm just glad it's not the other end 'Cause the smell would make it even worse