Tuesday Fairytale

So now is for the day I felt every horrible emotion Trying to be strong was the only sane devotion Praying for saving, screaming for an answer These are the effects of an evil deadly cancer Looking to the heavens I felt like I was dying Guidance and relief, God was simply not providing My sight had been tainted, I was lost inside my brain Helplessness swarmed, his name I yelled in vain The guilt wouldn't wash off, so I'd lather, rinse, repeat Anxiety rushed over like a race forced to compete How did it start, my recollection, an abrupt waking How does it end, my fear, this soul breaking Have you seen death, I hear it's all around I think it's different when it's a loved one on the ground Funerals I've been to and found mourning behind the curtain But a casket for some reason, makes it normal, I'm certain The sight has been cleaned up, the scene, it's been made It's quiet and peaceful, a person at rest is how it's played What really happened has already been washed away Ugly truth has been hidden, so in people's minds it won't stay My experience is different, the sight I have seen Raw and unedited, I still see it when I dream I've stood at the feet, stared in the eyes of death Screamed and cried, shook him, for one last breath Tried to get him up, save his life, I was too late It'll go down in the books, that day, the date As the time I stood still, neglecting what I knew Of waiting too long, till there was nothing I could do Comfort has been offered, an escape from the shame I'm honest with myself, I do hold some blame He made the choice, he made the call Here's a hard truth, I could have changed it all So there is the facts, the what is and what was The complicated effects of what suicide does The should a, could a, would a, in full detail There you have it, my Tuesday Fairytale