Trapped In My Past
Forgiveness is not what I ask,
for it's a concept i'll never grasp,
Always trapped within my emotions,
like a roaring ocean.
Pain, hate, anger, and shame consume me
when I look at myself that's all I see.
Very little restraint or self control,
I always get pulled back into this hole.
In my darkness I contemplate,
reliving my every mistake.
If I had only done this or changed that,
if only I could take time back.
I feel sorrow for all that I have done,
but yet I still keep hurting everyone.
The one's I love and are suppose to care for,
the one's most cherished to me whom I'm suppose to adore.
How can you forgive me when all I do it take,
pride, self esteem, your dignity away.
You forgiving me is like throwing salt on the wound,
I don't forgive myself so why should you?.
Forgiveness is not what I ask,
Why?....because i'm still a little boy trapped in my past.
M.Mahauariki © 2012
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