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Toxic State

Senseless fear of others, being shy.
All my life, been the uneasy guy.
It's a functional thing, not organic.
Social situations, just that little bit of panic.
"Stranger anxiety" from early childhood,
never left me, then even Mom and Dad weren't good.
You'd think I wouldn't feel it, at least with my wife,
though even there it's a tiny part of life.
Get through the day fine, and publicly do okay,
but what would it be like to not feel this way.


December 5, 2016
For FJ Thomas's contest

Copyright © Doug Vinson | Year Posted 2016

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Aunna Jones Date: 2/27/2017 7:08:00 AM -Never Rap is a way of art like spoken word with rhyme literally lol. I love this reminds me of a few of my own. Similar ideas! Very nice work! Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 2/27/2017 7:21:00 AM "Never Rap" - Sweet! I learned something today, had never heard the term. : ) My wife teaches High School, and I've been to one 'poetry slam' where both the writing and the performance of the piece were important. Quite a variety of styles, and I was impressed at how some of the readers - and we are talking ages 14 to 18 here - truly *gave the piece* even in front of people like me, more than old enough to be their dad.

Kim Rodrigues Date: 12/24/2016 6:39:00 AM I used to feel that way! No one would guess that today! At my school reunion saw one of my grade school classmates. He looked shocked that I was talking to him! Well written on a subject that touches my heart, Doug! Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/24/2016 7:40:00 AM Ha! Kim, that is a great comparison - how we were in school versus at later class reunions. : )

Janice Canerdy Date: 12/23/2016 3:33:00 PM A 7 for your honest WINNING poem, Doug! Janice Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/23/2016 5:20:00 PM Hi Janice. Thanks!

Darren White Date: 12/23/2016 1:17:00 PM Oh, Doug, I can SO understand that, believe it or not. Chatting my heart out on PoetrySoup, but in the meantime 0.o Congratulations with your placement :) Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/23/2016 1:31:00 PM I hear you, Brother. : )

Janis Medders Tobechi Date: 12/5/2016 10:58:00 PM Well put together. It does sound like a rap. Should place high in the contest. Good luck. Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/9/2016 12:59:00 AM Thanks, Janis.

Ironic Zink Date: 12/5/2016 9:28:00 PM Nice flo Doug.. even if it's not rap... I can relate—to rap. Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/5/2016 9:45:00 PM We are all beginnings, ever. : ) Ironic Zink Date: 12/5/2016 9:30:00 PM Nothing I write right now appears uplifting...but it is Ironic Zink Date: 12/5/2016 9:29:00 PM (Joke of the day)

Heidi Sands Date: 12/5/2016 10:45:00 AM Wow Doug! You described this so incredibly well! I hope that you will find a win with this one in the contest! :) Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/5/2016 11:12:00 AM Thank you, Heidi. It's one of those things where talking about it, or "shining a light" on it, would make it disappear, one would think. Helps, but not a 100% cure...

Chris Green Date: 12/5/2016 9:49:00 AM I went through the same things when I was younger, couldn't even muster the nerve to order a hot dog, far too shy and worried about what someone might think, but now, that is only past history as I can speak comfortably in front of large crowds whether I know what I'm talking about or not. A well written poem about this subject that I'm sure many can relate to. Good luck in the contest. Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/5/2016 10:09:00 AM Good Deal, Chris. For me it's not any identifiable worry, just some practically instinctive reaction. Not a huge deal at all, but always there...

Maurice Rigoler Date: 12/5/2016 9:28:00 AM Doug, I can relate to this poem, having grown up with similar problems described therein. I have outgrown some of my problems, others are still with me. Thank you for reading my Fox poem, it's one of my favorites and, in my modest opinion, one of my best. Best to you in your writing endeavors. / M Login to Reply Doug Vinson Date: 12/5/2016 9:45:00 AM Thank you, Maurice. I've gotten a lot better with it through the decades, can speak in front of groups of people, for instance, which is a big deal for a lot of people - I saw one poll where the fear of that ranked above dying. Yet it's still always there....