Tonight
Voices in my head
Making me see red
I'm not part of the conversation
It's just a demand to fall in their formation
Mental health getting worse
Medicine not absorbing putting me in a hurst
Sit or stand decisions are hard
Maybe I am for the knackers yard
Doctors say let's try another
But their demands just smother
I know what I need to make it go away
A body that can function a normal way
The voices and shadows know I am weak
But peace and clarity is all I seek
I write these poems 5 benzos in
Maybe I should stop and put them in the bin
Lonely and scared, the shadows they move
There's no clear window to see through
Should I sit and chat and go more loopy?
Or should I hide and become less human?
Mental illness cannot be seen
The last few months have taken me
Who I was is now long gone
What I'd give to be able to listen to just one song
Sadness surrounds but no tears flow
I'm so amped up but walk so slow
When will the next shadows show their face
The battle to win is now a race
The voice commands to hurt myself
I don't have it in me, so its on the shelf
Medication unobtainable
Mental health declining I'm so unstable
Darkness follows me where I go
I wish sometimes it's the end of the road
I weep right now as not an end in sight
Maybe its my life I'll take tonight
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