Toilet Paper

One-ply, two-ply, three-ply, four:
Whether you are rich or poor,
This is something that you need.
Substitutes won’t do, agreed?

Extra soft or without rolls,
Every brand has matching goals –
Do the job and help us wipe.
We don’t need the extra hype!

One conundrum makes folks nuts;
They won’t stand ifs, ands or buts.
(Pun intended) – This harangue
Regards which way the roll should hang.

Is the next-to-follow strip
On the top for you to rip?
Or perhaps it’s lying under
Waiting to be torn asunder?

Everyone thinks his way’s best.
Please comply if you’re a guest.
When you’re on another’s bowl,
Use his method to unroll.

One last thing I’d like to mention –
This is one superb invention;
For without its grand debut,
I can think of one word – EEW!

July 31, 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012


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Date: 8/10/2012 10:40:00 AM
Very funny... no wonder you won... Terry
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Date: 8/10/2012 6:22:00 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved placement in Craig's "Funny Poem" contest Ilene. Love, Carol
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Date: 8/9/2012 9:16:00 PM
ib.. congratulations with your awesome win. Hoping to read many contest tonight. always~ ;-) PD
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Date: 8/9/2012 8:44:00 AM
Funny and cute. Congrats on the win... For me this was the best.
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Date: 8/8/2012 3:50:00 PM
congrats, my friend, I just knew this one had to be on the list.
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Date: 8/8/2012 12:50:00 PM
Absolutely love it. When I traveled to Egypt several years ago, we paid for one or two sheets of toilet paper in each bathroom. Thought I'd die when you have to figure ahead of time how many sheets you need. Well done, funny+++ Congratulations on your win. Lee
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Date: 8/8/2012 10:35:00 AM
Just wanted to say congrats on your win!
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Date: 8/8/2012 2:42:00 AM
oh my, this is sooo funny, ilene...congrats on your top win!..:) huggs!
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Date: 8/8/2012 12:59:00 AM
Brilliant, love it, well done Ilene xx
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Date: 8/7/2012 6:48:00 PM
Congrats on your 1st place win, Ilene. Great job. LOL. Kudos. Hugs, Ralph
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Date: 8/7/2012 4:45:00 PM
Love your witty humor, Ilene! Congrats on your win!! Love and Blessings, Rhonda
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Date: 8/4/2012 7:49:00 AM
Dear Ilene Everyone knows the right way it should hang. You are so funny. love, Kathy
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Date: 8/3/2012 6:26:00 AM
this has wit written all over it ilene :)
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Date: 8/1/2012 8:54:00 PM
A pleasure to read your poetry this evening Ilene. I am happy I was able to read some poetry tonight and so glad yours was among the poems I am reading. Love, Carol
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Date: 8/1/2012 4:40:00 PM
I enjoyed this, Ilene. It's so funny how they have different amounts of TP with the one ply, two ply thing. I am always standing their doing the math to figure out the best buy!!!
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Date: 8/1/2012 6:59:00 AM
Very enjoyable poem. I was smiling from the first line. You have a great sense of humor Ilene. My preference is over the top so that I can do the karate chop. Who knew that toilet paper could be so much fun? Thanks again for the smile. Rockman
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Pritts Avatar
Rockman Pritts
Date: 8/1/2012 7:01:00 AM
Oh yeah. I have one for ya. Try my poem, "Urgent Need".
Date: 8/1/2012 6:59:00 AM
cute poem. we roll from the top. and you're right, without it - eew! dirty undies and stinky butts! kudos to the inventor!
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Date: 8/1/2012 4:51:00 AM
When you have set up a new....the next moment it is empty....true, we don`t need the extra hype. - well done Ilene....lol... thank you. - Have a lovely day - oxox love Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 8/1/2012 4:27:00 AM
ilene ha ha ha I like and my wife insists it is on the top, love it..David
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