To Live Or Not To Live

To live or not to live, to breathe or not to breathe, confusing it might seem to be, but not to me. I've had to live through thick and thin. Making me look so sick and lean. A few times perhaps being mean. For pain used to be my meal, yes pain!!! I consumed it each day. So I don't want to live I often said. Thinking death should be my portion instead. It was not until i reached the crossroads, with a decision to make for the right road. Then a revelation dawned on me surprisingly at dawn. There was a sudden insight, which left me with a beautiful picture in sight. It portrayed how this life we live must be lived, and how certain things in life give relieve. Like the air we breathe, the food water and shelter we need, coupled with beautiful sights and scenes. Upon this realization I ask myself once more, why not end it all?.. NO! For i will miss it all. The serenity of a vicinity, the sight and pleasure of a delicacy, the deeply rooted instinct of love....just name it! But then I'm faced with a choice--to live or not to live?..... Be my judge.