Barrett Brown Poet Rhyme

THIS CHRISTMAS EVE IS DIFFERENT

Sent to my kids
"THIS CHRISTMAS EVE IS DIFFERENT"

This Christmas Eve is different

I lost my loving, influential Dad after almost 60 years.
I miss him a lot, thinking about him? Still brings me to tears

I miss being able to talk and laugh with him over experiences in life, sports, just a variety of things.

And although I was an Optimist and him a Pessimist, he always had my back helping bring balance to my wings

So I poured my soul out to you, in a poem that was painful but true,
Believing you'd hear and my words and that they'd reach down into you.


And after? I felt truly blessed, and that God had answered my prayer. 
For the first time in 4 months you visited me in my moment of despair.

You know I went to bed that night after you guys left thinking the tide had turned?
That our bond was in the process of being rebuilt, and that the Love had returned?
 
I  started to believe that things would be different, cuz you guys responded and saved my day.

I felt my honesty had awoken that part of your heart, you forgot in me? And that we had found a way.

But then this morning? I woke to a silence and realizing Id have to just deal with pain
That "This Christmas Eve" would come with a chill, and start to consume my brain.

That Today? As the world meets 2025's Christmas Eve,
I’m mourning the magic I had hoped we'd weave.

Looking over that time since, I realized that
nothing has really changed at all
I still dont hear from you or know whats up, no letter, text, or call.

I guess I expected a little more change that just hasn’t come yet,
It’s hard without ya'll trying to act cool without feeling no regret.

But Hey I just need you to Know:

Im proud of you's and was hoping that we could change in some way

 Knowing your lives have just started. I just didnt want to be left in Yesterday

My Dad taught me to be a survivor so I’ll find the bridge through this bitter part,
I hope I instilled that in you, but remember
I'll ALWAYS keep a place for you in my heart.

So, While other fathers will be celebrating, with their children, faces lit and bright?
,I'll be sitting here without my gifts from God, alone another Holiday Night

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