Things Not To Use False Teeth For
THINGS NOT TO USE FALSE TEETH FOR
Well for starters, some things are obvious, see?
Wouldn’t advise anyone, not just me,
To be a circus rope-twirler holding the rope in me teeth
When there’s no net beneath.
Also inadvisable to try to bend iron bars
With teeth, as top performers do - but they’re stars
Circus jobs apart, the more mundane things to avoid
Would include the following where teeth are employed:
Using hand-held teeth for crimping edges ( a serious mistake)
Of pastry pie before wife puts it in to bake;
Showing amusing party-piece trick to in-laws
Where a toy mouse is chased by hand-held monster teeth jaws;
Placing teeth in special overnight water glass
With magnifying capability to greet waking wife, poor lass!
Sinking teeth in cup of coffee or plate of soup
To be hauled out for laughs in front of vicar with a whoop;
Whipping me teeth out in class to demonstrate
Difference between upper and lower plate;
Showing how difficult it is to toothlessly say
Massachusetts and Missisippi or Saskatchewan’s Sandy Bay.
In fact the only thing I recommend when using false teeth
Is be sure the top plate’s above and the lower beneath.
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* From my series “BODY PARTS - REAL AND FALSE”
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