Things I Secretly Do To My Neighbor

I secretly do these things to my neighbor make fun of her walk, her talk, her arrogant ways draw her as a cartoon buffoon with a giant large ugly toothy mouth paint her wearing gaudy neon colors that she would despise wash her hairsprayed up hair in my toilet bowl in my mind’s eye write her into poems that are less than flattering yell despicable things to her while I am in the shower throw rusty hatches at her in my dreams devour her in my oatmeal, eating her head first dance the watusi in her face, watching her back away in horror envision her being eaten by a big cat who breaks her back first ignore her arrogance and try to like her……..sorry. This was a lie.