Them

They fill my heart with so much joy And pain. For when, she asks me "When can I see my mommy and daddy again? Like, my other mommy and daddy." It breaks my heart. I know she's sad And confused. I have to say "I don't think you can see them anymore, Sweetie." "Because they are sick?" She says. Yes baby. They are sick. Sick with heroin addiction. Sick with forgetting about you. Sick with verbally and physically abusing you. Sick with overdosing while pregnant with your little brother. They are sick. Questions. SO many questions. How do you tell a 3 year old that her parents are drug addicts? that they are constantly choosing drugs over her and her brother? That they never show up to court meetings to fight for them? That they make threats at us for "stealing their children"? How do you tell her she will never see her biological parents again? How do you tell a 1 year old who thinks you are his mommy and daddy that you are not his bio parents? How do you tell someone that they are adopted? HOW do you turn away from your children? HOW do you not even TRY to FIGHT for these children? HOW can you GIVE up on these babies? HOW can you go through everyday of your life WITHOUT the children you gave birth to? HOW can you constantly choose the drugs over your babies? HOW? Thank you. Thank you for doing all of those things. Because they have a family now. One that puts them first in everything. One that loves them with their whole hearts. One where they are safe and happy and adored. Thank you for making me a mommy. And I'm sorry you can't put down the needles to see it.