The World According to Cat

I am a cat, at home I’m Ollie But fellow cats know real name “Intrepid Vic”, I dig that, golly Grey tiger, finest at his game I am the boss around here Them humans lacking any wit In house of mine they live, oh dear We take up space in even split They’re sort of fun to be around I’m free to roam, eat and sleep They give me hugs, but I may frown No mucho fondling or I leap! There’s plenty do around the castle Lick milk, meow and preen myself To tug on curtain’s bushy tassel And jump to kitchens’ highest shelf To scratch the pole, chase own tail Lay on keyboard when daddy writes And have a drink without fail I love the dripping faucet pipes This cat hates bathing with a passion The tongue is all you need, capeeche? A counter walk is still in fashion As diet of livers and the fish Be engine to the cat-drawn carriage Kids want to have for their doll I play good sport, so I can manage Paw dinner meat and have a ball! To walk around, rubbing lightly Against the people and the turfs Affection? Nay, we rather rightly Stake claim to lands, you naive serfs The backyard run is fun and game Chase birds and squirrels sans result Stop screaming your approval, dame I brought you mouse, not insult! The fight with neighbors’ cat is tricky We hate each other, what a schmuck And stray feline escapes the quickie Love interest gone, I’m out of luck Then watch TV about tabbies High time to purr enjoying snack Dive into fishbowl acting grabby Ascend the tree for doggie pack Kids drive me crazy with a laser I drive them nuts by hiding mum Love being family’s hell-raiser At times I’m meek but never dumb A blade of grass to treat a sickness Do know exactly what I need And have that fur to show for slickness “Meow the kitties!” is my creed To plan a day some quiet time I need in total solitude Slink into curve ball for bedtime Wake humans early for my food This life’s intense and full of peril And so much fun, it’s cats’ delight Plans for tomorrow? They are feral I have to sleep on them tonight © 2022