The World According to Cat
I am a cat, at home I’m Ollie
But fellow cats know real name
“Intrepid Vic”, I dig that, golly
Grey tiger, finest at his game
I am the boss around here
Them humans lacking any wit
In house of mine they live, oh dear
We take up space in even split
They’re sort of fun to be around
I’m free to roam, eat and sleep
They give me hugs, but I may frown
No mucho fondling or I leap!
There’s plenty do around the castle
Lick milk, meow and preen myself
To tug on curtain’s bushy tassel
And jump to kitchens’ highest shelf
To scratch the pole, chase own tail
Lay on keyboard when daddy writes
And have a drink without fail
I love the dripping faucet pipes
This cat hates bathing with a passion
The tongue is all you need, capeeche?
A counter walk is still in fashion
As diet of livers and the fish
Be engine to the cat-drawn carriage
Kids want to have for their doll
I play good sport, so I can manage
Paw dinner meat and have a ball!
To walk around, rubbing lightly
Against the people and the turfs
Affection? Nay, we rather rightly
Stake claim to lands, you naive serfs
The backyard run is fun and game
Chase birds and squirrels sans result
Stop screaming your approval, dame
I brought you mouse, not insult!
The fight with neighbors’ cat is tricky
We hate each other, what a schmuck
And stray feline escapes the quickie
Love interest gone, I’m out of luck
Then watch TV about tabbies
High time to purr enjoying snack
Dive into fishbowl acting grabby
Ascend the tree for doggie pack
Kids drive me crazy with a laser
I drive them nuts by hiding mum
Love being family’s hell-raiser
At times I’m meek but never dumb
A blade of grass to treat a sickness
Do know exactly what I need
And have that fur to show for slickness
“Meow the kitties!” is my creed
To plan a day some quiet time
I need in total solitude
Slink into curve ball for bedtime
Wake humans early for my food
This life’s intense and full of peril
And so much fun, it’s cats’ delight
Plans for tomorrow? They are feral
I have to sleep on them tonight
© 2022
Copyright © Ed Kay | Year Posted 2025
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