The weight of change

the river runs afar splitting I change houses its crippling I'm her here and another over there its hard to bear to bear the weight of change for the reasons range from different rules to different hues I bear the weight of change is it so hard to be the same? for the one thing I wish for is to not bear the weight the weight of change so I will live with two personalities sometimes I just want the world to freeze but I don't get a pause I have to be jolly like Santa Claus so you will only know one half of me I'm her but I'm also she but who am I this half of that it gnaws me like a gnat so. I will write you back as soon I can when I find out who I am