The Vampire Nurse

When I visit my GP these are the words I truly fear
‘You need another blood test, just take this form my dear’
I have to ring the hospital – I pray they have no room
They say ‘we have a cancellation please come in this afternoon'

I suffer from needle phobia and a blood test I must take
I’m sitting in the waiting room awaiting the inevitable fate
My name is called and I start to sweat and shake
The vampire nurse’s shadow falls on me; it’s my blood she wants to take

I try to warn them how I feel and how I may react
Some of them will listen; others have no tact
Oh follow me and don’t be silly, I fear that they may think
But I need to lie down and have some ice cold water to drink

The tourniquet is on my arm the pain I start to feel
I start to feel faint and woozy this I cannot conceal
Please lay me flat and let me rest – I hope that they will listen
I don’t want to pass out on the floor; tears form and my eyes glisten

The needle is drawn ready to take my precious blood
Oh its just a little prick, I must try to be good
But my head starts to swim and the cold sweat appears
Oh how I wish I could get rid of these irrational fears

One time the vampire nurse was in a bit of a hurry
She came to take my rich red blood and told me not to worry
You don’t need to lie down you will be alright
My eyes were as wide as teacups I really had a fright

She took my blood and the fear began to show
But she said I was fine and to the waiting room I must go
I stumbled to a chair and began to feel so faint
I lay down on the floor - I didn’t look too quaint

My hubby went back in and said my wife needs your attention
She came out to see me I needed her intervention
Back into the vampire nurse’s lair I stumbled
And into the chair I had to be bundled

I was lying down flat with a fan to cool me
I needed water – oh why oh why hadn’t she listened to my plea
After years of blood tests I know how I will react
I have needle phobia it is a well-known fact
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014


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Date: 3/23/2015 3:09:00 PM
Jan, I can't stand needles either. They freak me out. Well done. :O) Keep up with the great work. Keep on penning. Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful and creative talents with us. We all truly appreciate it. *S* Cynthia
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Cynthia Jones
Date: 4/6/2015 1:22:00 PM
You are most welcome Jan. ~HUGS` *S* Cynthia
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 3/23/2015 4:36:00 PM
Thanks Cynthia:-) Hugs Jan xx
Date: 3/26/2014 3:23:00 AM
love the humour xx
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Jan Allison
Date: 3/26/2014 3:42:00 AM
Thanks for dropping by Mandy I really appreciate it. Jan xxx
Date: 3/21/2014 10:32:00 AM
I, too, often think of vampires, particularly when I am in the hospital, and awakened from a sound sleep---not of fear, but of extreme irritation! :-)
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Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2014 10:34:00 AM
Thanks for dropping by Robert - I am due another blood test - putting it off as per lol. Hugs Jan xxxx
Date: 2/28/2014 12:07:00 AM
Jan This is a creative and funny write. You took a fear and turned it into something fun and entertaining. Thanks for the sweet comment on my Birthday poem
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/28/2014 4:17:00 AM
thanks for the lovely comment robin and happy birthdayyyyyyyyyyy xxxxx
Date: 2/26/2014 6:32:00 PM
† So Sweet So Cute, Her Perfect Lovely Rhyme: Ow Just To Squeeze Her, Myself, Tell Me Would It Be A Crime ? I Noticed Your Wonderful Name, Sweet Beautiful Jan ˜ At Queen Eileen's Latest Verse And Wished To Pass By And Say Hi! Hoping This Is Merely Creative Fiction Yet If Not ? Be Strong And Show Them What You've Got ˜ My Love, Always & Forever, John
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/27/2014 2:13:00 AM
thanks for the lovely comment and verse Johnny :-) sadly the poem is true I have needle phobia but on my last test i wanted to get home and get the poem done and had no adverse effects will drop by to see yr work soon Jan x
Date: 2/26/2014 7:16:00 AM
Put a smile on my face :) Had a medical student once taking mine; couldn't locate a vein and after several attempts burst out in sweat, was shaking and nearly passed out. I had to see to him!
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/26/2014 8:22:00 AM
Thanks for the comment Paul. The funny thing is I started this poem before I went to the hospital or the blood test and had no issues at all! No shaking or sweating - think it was because I wanted to get home and get it finished. Oh thank heavens for Poetry Soup! Happy reading and writing Jan
Date: 2/22/2014 1:42:00 PM
Very amusing poem but I know how it feels. I have a needle phobia and try to put off blood tests. Best wishes Linda
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/23/2014 3:27:00 PM
thanks for the lovely comment Linda Happy reading and writing Jan xx
Date: 2/18/2014 2:00:00 PM
- An enjoyable poem, Jan !! ... I have to laugh :)))))))) !!!! ...... I am a nurse .... but one of the "good" kind of :))))) -oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/18/2014 4:14:00 PM
Oh Anne lise just one look at your beautiful face and the blood pressure would be raised and the men will be begging for your care. Nurses are wonderful my mum trained when she was 50! Its just my fear of needles in general ,but this was the best blood test ever i didn't feel bad - just wanted to dash home and finish my poem I guess, hugs Jan xxx
Date: 2/18/2014 8:53:00 AM
Hahaha! Got such a kick out of this one, Ms. J. Allison! Being male, I must never admit to it, but I can trust you not to spread this around eh! I'm scared of those nasty Vampire Nurses too! N-A-S-T-Y! Loving, comforting hugs, Mr. J. Ellison XOXOX
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/18/2014 4:09:00 PM
Brother Jack - we have something more in common and not just those beards lol. Its quite therapeutic this writing lark - I may get good at it one day! I have to admit today's blood test was amazing no feeling faint and was in and out of the hospital in 10 minutes. had started the poem before i went out - maybe just wanted to get home quick to finish it - the chocolate mint in my bag also helped :-) love and hugs r sister Jan xx
Date: 2/18/2014 8:25:00 AM
Jan I am a bit like you when it comes to blood test I have fainted in the past but now I just lay down and hum to my self it does not hurt really its just the though I do know what you go through great poem.
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Jan Allison
Date: 2/18/2014 4:06:00 PM
Thanks for the lovely comment Leon. Happy reading and writing Jan x
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