The Vampire Nurse
When I visit my GP these are the words I truly fear
‘You need another blood test, just take this form my dear’
I have to ring the hospital – I pray they have no room
They say ‘we have a cancellation please come in this afternoon'
I suffer from needle phobia and a blood test I must take
I’m sitting in the waiting room awaiting the inevitable fate
My name is called and I start to sweat and shake
The vampire nurse’s shadow falls on me; it’s my blood she wants to take
I try to warn them how I feel and how I may react
Some of them will listen; others have no tact
Oh follow me and don’t be silly, I fear that they may think
But I need to lie down and have some ice cold water to drink
The tourniquet is on my arm the pain I start to feel
I start to feel faint and woozy this I cannot conceal
Please lay me flat and let me rest – I hope that they will listen
I don’t want to pass out on the floor; tears form and my eyes glisten
The needle is drawn ready to take my precious blood
Oh its just a little prick, I must try to be good
But my head starts to swim and the cold sweat appears
Oh how I wish I could get rid of these irrational fears
One time the vampire nurse was in a bit of a hurry
She came to take my rich red blood and told me not to worry
You don’t need to lie down you will be alright
My eyes were as wide as teacups I really had a fright
She took my blood and the fear began to show
But she said I was fine and to the waiting room I must go
I stumbled to a chair and began to feel so faint
I lay down on the floor - I didn’t look too quaint
My hubby went back in and said my wife needs your attention
She came out to see me I needed her intervention
Back into the vampire nurse’s lair I stumbled
And into the chair I had to be bundled
I was lying down flat with a fan to cool me
I needed water – oh why oh why hadn’t she listened to my plea
After years of blood tests I know how I will react
I have needle phobia it is a well-known fact
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