Kayla Johnson | + Follow Poet |
Ballad | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

The Truth

“The Truth” – Written by Kayla Hamilton
“Why is it that guys end up treating you like a sister? 
Why can’t I be that girl that no other has had before? 
Instead of calling me hot, they call me cutie. 
Then when they ask me something personal I end up lying, 
Instead of telling the truth. 

--It’s that feeling I get. 
The kind where I get all mushy inside when he texts me.
And when I hear his voice. 

I would tell the truth, but...I wouldn’t want to ruin the relationship we have now.         
I want to be that girl, who can impress him.
But when I try, I don’t want to sound stupid.
I want to be that girl who thinks of me 
the moment he wakes up, and when he’s dreaming.    
I’m not beautiful. I’m just me. Sometimes I just feel not so pretty or beautiful.
I just feel ugly.
And when he calls me goof, I feel like he treats me like a 12 yr old. 

--Then there’s the moment where it seems serious.
He does call me hot, and beautiful. 
I just keep wondering he doesn't mean it. That he’s just still used to our “friendliness”. 
I’ve always felt like the outsider. He’d hang out and chill with me, 
But at the same time had a crush on someone else. 
He was into other girls. The one’s that are pretty, and funny, and
I guess “bad”. 
When he was into her, I had to act like I didn’t know.
When I saw them holding hands, my heart just dropped. 
I was jealous. 
No one knew how much I liked him. No one knows now.
Maybe crying in my sleep or trying to forget about it, was all I could do.
I was the invisible one. The friend. Just the girl. 
It’s been the past 8 years, and it still hurts. 

-Maybe it’s just better to be friends. Maybe it’s just time to move on.
Maybe I need to move on. 

-There are others saying “ooh...you better watch out for the guys!” 
Well…ooohh...Why hasn’t anyone told me they loved me or liked me in
The past 17 years? Minus family that is. 
It’s like if I was taken, maybe he would be jealous. 
Just to know what it felt like for me.
Always hurting and crying and not getting over the fact he wasn’t
Interested in being more then just friends. 

Well it’s just life. It’s not the way anyone wants it to be.
All I can say is these are my thoughts. This is how I feel.
All I can say is the truth.
And the truth is… I’m in love with you.”

Copyright © Kayla Johnson | Year Posted 2009

Please Login to post a comment