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The Situation - Premium Member

The Trade

my love shines on you
a spiritual exchange
desire shines on me


give yourself to me
you can have anything you want
except your freedom

Copyright © The Situation | Year Posted 2012

introspectionhaiku

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September 6, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Excellent piece. Line 5 the word 'anything' counts 3 syllables and this makes the line counts 8 syllables rather than 7. I can suggest you change it to read 'all things'. I enjoyed the read

April 11, 2012 at 6:30 PM

'freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose.' I'll keep what I ain't got. Like the haiku, though.

March 16, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Yes, that is true for a couple is forever tied together..They can never be free of the other..Enjoyed reading this eve..Sara

Elizabeth Wesley

February 7, 2012 at 1:46 PM

Freedom is found in you.

February 7, 2012 at 2:47 PM

you've got that freedom too. you just see it in me.

Andrea Dietrich

January 26, 2012 at 5:08 PM

I like this one , but agree with Arild here "if I could only keep my freedom" I especially like the first in the set.

January 12, 2012 at 5:11 PM

hmmm...I'm not sure about the last line..but I like the rest lol Kind of dominant is what I read...perhaps not intended.

January 12, 2012 at 8:49 AM

A thought provoking one TS. Eliot?? Smile. Agape, Moses

John Loving Iii

January 11, 2012 at 4:35 PM

the way it should be done!!!

Brenda Victoria Northeast

January 11, 2012 at 5:47 AM

OOH the cost of freedom is the exchange mmm Well done, T.C

Anne-Lise Andresen

January 11, 2012 at 5:37 AM

Thank you for comment on my poem! My love shines on YOU! :)oxox Anne-Lise

January 10, 2012 at 5:11 PM

5 7 5 - both of them - Alright! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

Natalie The Rogue Rhymer

January 10, 2012 at 4:49 PM

This is great Situation! Like Susan said, cool boomerang effect! I'm quite impressed!

Black Eyed Susan

January 4, 2012 at 6:49 PM

like a boomerang effect? very cool :)

Elizabeth Wesley

January 4, 2012 at 5:54 PM

Short and sweet when desire conquers all. Love your ku my friend, I find them very difficult but you make it look so easy.! :)

Maryam Jameela Haniff

January 4, 2012 at 4:51 PM

emotions excellently captured dear poet... so short yet so meaningful.. thanks for sharing ..Love Maryam

January 4, 2012 at 3:15 PM

Very passionate write in just a few short words..Sara

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