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the trade

my love shines on you
a spiritual exchange
desire shines on me

give yourself to me
you can have anything you want
except your freedom

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

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Date: 9/6/2012 11:40:00 AM
Excellent piece. Line 5 the word 'anything' counts 3 syllables and this makes the line counts 8 syllables rather than 7. I can suggest you change it to read 'all things'. I enjoyed the read
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Date: 4/11/2012 6:30:00 PM
'freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose.' I'll keep what I ain't got. Like the haiku, though.
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Date: 3/16/2012 7:33:00 PM
Yes, that is true for a couple is forever tied together..They can never be free of the other..Enjoyed reading this eve..Sara
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Date: 2/7/2012 1:46:00 PM
Freedom is found in you.
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The Situation
Date: 2/7/2012 2:47:00 PM
you've got that freedom too. you just see it in me.
Date: 1/26/2012 5:08:00 PM
I like this one , but agree with Arild here "if I could only keep my freedom" I especially like the first in the set.
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Date: 1/12/2012 5:11:00 PM
hmmm...I'm not sure about the last line..but I like the rest lol Kind of dominant is what I read...perhaps not intended.
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Date: 1/12/2012 8:49:00 AM
A thought provoking one TS. Eliot?? Smile. Agape, Moses
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Date: 1/11/2012 4:35:00 PM
the way it should be done!!!
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Date: 1/11/2012 5:47:00 AM
OOH the cost of freedom is the exchange mmm Well done, T.C
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Date: 1/11/2012 5:37:00 AM
Thank you for comment on my poem! My love shines on YOU! :)oxox Anne-Lise
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Date: 1/10/2012 5:11:00 PM
5 7 5 - both of them - Alright! Peace & Love Matthew Anish
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Date: 1/10/2012 4:49:00 PM
This is great Situation! Like Susan said, cool boomerang effect! I'm quite impressed!
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Date: 1/4/2012 6:49:00 PM
like a boomerang effect? very cool :)
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Date: 1/4/2012 5:54:00 PM
Short and sweet when desire conquers all. Love your ku my friend, I find them very difficult but you make it look so easy.! :)
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Date: 1/4/2012 4:51:00 PM
emotions excellently captured dear poet... so short yet so meaningful.. thanks for sharing ..Love Maryam
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Date: 1/4/2012 3:15:00 PM
Very passionate write in just a few short words..Sara
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