The Toilet Paper Caper
THE TOILET PAPER CAPER
Oh my goodness, oh my gosh
We're totally out of toilet paper
Someone broke in and pilfered it
Known as the toilet paper caper
It's really not a laughing matter
So wipe that silly grin off your face
The FBI's Stolen Bum Wipe Unit
Was called in to take the case
Went around from door to door
Searching for a lead or a clue
Except for a couple of possibilities
Wound up wearing out their shoes
As the leads started growing cold
Up pops this suspicious event
A race being staged at the university
Likely no criminal intent
But the first across the finish line
When they rang the final bell
Was awarded two dozen 3-ply rolls
By the makers of Cottonelle
Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2020
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