The Throne In Heaven
In heaven all will have a throne
(if not in hell you have been thrown!)
A throne of gold with cushioned seat,
it has a foot rest for your feet.
In comfort you can sit and think,
go number two but leave no stink,
for nothing smells BAD (Don’t you know?)
in heaven where the good folks go!
Yes, everything smells sweet like flowers.
On their thrones folks sit for hours
inside the private stalls they’re given
looking at gold phones. That’s livin’!
Yes, those who love so much their phone
can use them sitting on their throne.
And those who love TV a lot
can watch a screen while “on the pot.”
Each toilet has a silent flush
and uses a self-cleaning brush
that whirls itself around and round
while making not the slightest sound.
Yes, going potty’s so much fun
if you’re a Heaven’s lucky one.
But wait, all you to heaven called,
you need to know what’s been installed.
God doesn’t want you all day long
just sitting there! That would be wrong.
Your potty time has limits of
two hours per day, for God is Love!
He wants for you to keep things real.
A shock on your behind you’ll feel
if too long on your throne you sit.
No one needs hours to sit and sh__!
God wants you mingling with others,
with your sisters and your brothers.
There’s much to do and much to see,
and even chores are heavenly!
So live a good life while you can,
for nothing’s more delightful than
a cushioned seat for your behind.
May heaven’s throne you one day find!
Oct. 29, 2021
For Jack Webster's The Throne In Heaven Poetry Contest
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