The Storm That Lives Inside Me
I wake each day with a thousand thoughts,
A heart that feels what others cannot.
I laugh, I cry, I fall apart,
While trying to make sense of my heart.
I feel things deeply, more than I show,
With storms inside that nobody knows.
One moment I'm strong, the next I'm afraid,
Wondering if love will slowly fade.
I love with a fire that burns so bright,
Yet fear that I'll lose it keeps me up at night.
A silence can hurt, a word can cut deep,
And memories follow when I try to sleep.
Sometimes I push the ones I need,
Then cry inside over what I've believed.
I want to be held, to feel I'm enough,
But trusting in love can be painfully tough.
My feelings rise like a restless sea,
And sometimes I don't feel like me.
I fight battles hidden behind my eyes,
While telling the world that I'm doing fine.
I've been misunderstood along the way,
With so many feelings I can't always explain.
They see my reactions, but not my pain,
They see the sunshine, not all the rain.
I've questioned my worth, I've questioned my place,
I've searched for acceptance, a little bit of grace.
I've wished I could quiet the noise in my mind,
And give myself the same love I give humankind.
But I am not broken, though I've felt that way,
And BPD does not define me each day.
I'm more than my struggles, my fear, and my tears,
I'm the strength I've been building through all of these years.
I'm learning that feelings, though heavy and real,
Are waves that can pass; they don't define what I feel.
I'm learning that love doesn't always depart,
And healing can start with a change in my heart.
So if you see me struggling, please look a bit deeper,
I'm not always the storm; sometimes I'm just a dreamer.
I'm a soul that's still fighting, still learning to be,
Still searching for peace, still becoming me.
And though my road may be harder to climb,
I'll keep finding my strength, one day at a time.
For beneath all the hurt, there's a heart that still stands,
Still reaching for hope, still learning to understand.
I am not just the pain that I've carried inside.
I am the person who's fought to survive.
I am worthy of love, even when I can't see.
I am more than my BPD.
I am still here. I am still me.
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