The Slacker

While others fall through the cracks of society, I confront every crack with a willing dive and leap. I am the greatest slacker that has ever come to be, never contributing anything to anything or anybody, always taking the path of least resistance religiously. Once while collecting unemployment, while on welfare and social security disability, while also collecting a pension I received monthly, a government official paid a visit to me. Now I live in a resort prison of very minimum security. Room and board, three square meals, everything that I need, to live the rest of my life comfortably absolutely work free. I am the most successful slacker of all slackers that have ever come to be.