The Saga of Cone Dog

We are both bruised and beaten Thanks to our new puppy, cone dog He was neutered five days ago He cannot get through the giant doggie door We have to leave the front door propped open Raccoons and opossums are living in here with us now Cone Dog pushes us around from room to room We have sharp red cone marks on our buttocks and our legs My screaming husband was pushed into the office a second ago by Cone Dog. I cringe as I watch the cone flinging couches out of the dog's path. Our dog, Buddy, is using his enormous cone like a giant cow catcher The raccoons and opossums are tired of it too. I watch them sneak out the door, and I yell "Wait for me!"