The Sadness

Standing in the shower The water hides my tears But not my insecurities I still have all my fears I let out sobs against the tiles And hear them echoed back I should be happy, full of smiles But I have lost the knack I stand there, feeling helpless I'm wondering what to do I've never felt this way before It's all because of you I wonder if you care at all Or if you even know The fake smile that I keep all day I'm just putting on a show Show people that there's nothing wrong Don't let them see I'm sad Just like a fruit with perfect peel While insides rotting bad The sadness thats inside me Eats away, right to my core The fear, the hate, the sadness I'm hardly myself anymore True love, it seems, is for others Not for the likes of me Who try to be just what you want Whilst knowing I can never be And so, go on pretending I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm loved My fascade so believable I wear it like a glove Tears exhausted, shower off I paint my smile anew Do you ever really see me I don't think you ever do Another day is ending Tomorrow starts again My charade is so believeable I can forget my pain I convince myself that all is well Fine for days, weeks, months Until unknown triggers happen and sadness starts to come But I'll see it through again and again For as long as I can cope Because I'm in here somewhere And I'll always have hope Hope that I'll be truly happy My demons banished for good And maybe when I'm 'me' once more I'll even find I'm loved