The Queen of Mean

When I grow up I shall be queen. I shall rule in the meanest way possible. I shall lure my subjects to the castle in groups of two hundred and thirty-seven. I will make them helpless, completely worthless, relying totally on me for money, food, safety, shelter, and anything else they need to live. I will give them servants and maids, and I will not let them learn a thing. They will not be able to ever be independent; I will keep them in front of video games, making them play mindlessly for days and nights. I will let them sleep only after they are totally exhausted. I will not let them learn to read or write. They will not learn how to bake or cook. They will not be able to save money, or hold money or look at money, or even know about money. They will not know anything more than video games. I will be insanely mean to them. The meanest queen of the meanest mean. I will not give them any chances to be proud of themselves in any way. They will not know about their abilities or talents. They will be parked in front of matching games day and night. The only thing they have to know is colors, and patterns. They do not even have to know how to read to play this. They will never feel fulfilled or joyful, or happy. They will never develop a relationship with another human being. Their biggest accomplishment will be the Matching Mush points they can make daily. I am sorry, but in order to maintain my power, my control, my kingdom, I have to insist that they learn nothing else. If anyone tries to sneak in a book or anything the least bit educational to them, I will have my servants lop that person's head off. In order to truly be the meanest of the mean I have to take away my subject's ability to be independent. I certainly do not want them to know they can take care of themselves, or feel fulfilled or excited about accomplishing anything but video game points. They might band together and banish the queen, and then where would I be? Knowledge is the last thing I need in my kingdom. Sincerely, The Queen of Mean