The Process of Unthawing
As my tears crawl from my mascara stained eyes, down my blotchy red cheeks,
curling onto my trembling lips, leaving a salty trail behind; I think back to how I arrived here.
Here being my state of mind, here being this emotional wreck of sorrow and agony. Where
left is right and right is left; up is down and down is up. Here, as in completely lost, where
life races past you, leaving you to rot in your frozen state of delusion and regret.
Some people say 'hell' is the worst place in the world, but they are wrong; here is
worse. Here is the departure terminal of our loved or past loved ones. Here is where you
claim your emotional baggage, which you will carry with you for the rest of your life. So, I
guess you could call here an airport. Although an airport also has an arriving terminal, and
here is not a place where loved ones are returned to us. Yet somehow we find new loved
ones farther along, so an airport is a possibility.
Here can feel like a room that is too short to stand-up in, but not wide enough to lie
down in. Here, is where we lock away our past emotions, in hopes to forget the mistakes we
have made and to no longer analyze where we went 'wrong'. Although, you do not forgetyour
mistakes, you suffer from them, emotionally and physically. So, maybe a prison is possibility
for here. For here can be the loneliest place, even though you are never alone.
Here, unfortunately is not on a map, for here is no one place. Here is a part of life; a
painful but important part. Here, is the aftermath of a break-up; where you watch you loved
one walk away from you forever, and you feel your heart shatter into a thousand pieces of
sadness. And all you can do is stand there and reflect on everything you had with that
someone, and how much you wish you had them back in your arms.
So as I watch him walk away I say to myself, "What was I thinking?" All you can do
at this point, is start the painful struggle back to your normal self, and try to take something
away from this chapter in your life, because if you don't....You'll stay in that frozen state,
never to unthaw. Never to turn the page and finish your own happily ever after.
Copyright © Lexi Davis | Year Posted 2009
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