The Only Way Is Wessex
Those in Essex wear makeup like transvestites in Glee,
layered thick in powder layered thick mentally
the county undoubtedly can't count to 3
seek fame all shameless in cheap accessories
with brains stripped to bare necessities
embracing fake to hide insecurities living dumb
but to the west of Essex is the great kingdom
the best called Wessex where wisdom won
and skulls aint numb in a wonderland of fun
drinking cider under the sun.
So life is better when you go out west
oh yes
no contest
this place is blessed,
in the east most a numpty
we're not in the West Country
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