The Lemon Tree

“If you do a little wee
Upon your lemon tree 
It might not smell beaut
But it’s good for the fruit.”

So I did a little wee
Upon the lemon tree 
The grass it did burn 
But I did not learn.

It seems our dog came 
And did much the same 
This was not funny 
And smelled like a dunny.

My wife saw red
And donged my head
With a rolling pin 
For my gardening sin.

So learn from my mistakes 
For goodness sakes
And never ever wee
On your lemon tree.

* But because citrus are "nitrogen-hungry" plants, a diluted application can boost growth and fruit production. For best results, dilute 1 cup (don't use your wife's measuring cup) of urine in 1 gallon of water, or apply it sparingly around the root zone rather than directly on the trunk.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

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Kamoonpuri Avatar
May 13, 2026 at 3:24 AM
Ha ha aha reminds me when my kid sons peed on plants thinking it was as good as manure. Kudos for this funny fantastic poem! >>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<~~~\\\¤¤¤««««»»»»»» Plz also read and comment my newest poem too
Andrews Avatar
May 13, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Thank you, my friend for reading my poem. I love how Poetry Soup can bring people together from all around the world. We all have a lot more in common than we have differences. All the very best, Paul.
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