The Lemon Tree
“If you do a little wee
Upon your lemon tree
It might not smell beaut
But it’s good for the fruit.”
So I did a little wee
Upon the lemon tree
The grass it did burn
But I did not learn.
It seems our dog came
And did much the same
This was not funny
And smelled like a dunny.
My wife saw red
And donged my head
With a rolling pin
For my gardening sin.
So learn from my mistakes
For goodness sakes
And never ever wee
On your lemon tree.
* But because citrus are "nitrogen-hungry" plants, a diluted application can boost growth and fruit production. For best results, dilute 1 cup (don't use your wife's measuring cup) of urine in 1 gallon of water, or apply it sparingly around the root zone rather than directly on the trunk.
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