The Cleanest I Ever Was
I came up from Texas trailin' a herd,
Rode what they call "drag", a job that's absurd.
A thousand miles eatin' grimy red dust -
I coughed and I sputtered, cried and I cussed,
Swore and I prayed to get off of that hoss.
Said that someday I'd give my spurs a toss.
But that was a dream - so back to the drive -
All I could hope for was Kansas alive.
An' then one day it was over and done.
We penned and we counted every last one.
At last we was here, they paid off at noon -
An' all but me headed for the saloon.
Didn't long for whiskey or girls that flirt,
All I needed was to lose all that dirt.
We'd crossed a river 'bout four miles from town
An' all I wanted was to wet me down.
I stood nekkid by that river so cool
An' jumped me feet first into a whirlpool.
I didn't know nothin' about such things -
Always had deep pools that come from cold
springs
Well I got tumbled and scoured with sand
Then throwed up and down and dumped on dry land.
Now I ain't shore what all a whirlpool does,
But that's the cleanest that I ever was.
Back in town I was all bruised up and mean,
But the gals all said I was shore mighty clean.
April, 2014
For contest Just Make Me Laugh
judged 8/30/2016
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