The Cleanest I Ever Was

I came up from Texas trailin' a herd,
Rode what they call "drag", a job that's absurd.
A thousand miles eatin' grimy red dust -
I coughed and I sputtered, cried and I cussed,

Swore and I prayed to get off of that hoss.
Said that someday I'd give my spurs a toss.
But that was a dream - so back to the drive -
All I could hope for was Kansas alive.

An' then one day it was over and done.
We penned and we counted every last one.
At last we was here, they paid off at noon -
An' all but me headed for the saloon.

Didn't long for whiskey or girls that flirt,
All I needed was to lose all that dirt.
We'd crossed a river 'bout four miles from town
An' all I wanted was to wet me down.

I stood nekkid by that river so cool
An' jumped me feet first into a whirlpool.
I didn't know nothin' about such things -
Always had deep pools that come from cold 
springs

Well I got tumbled and scoured with sand
Then throwed up and down and dumped on dry land.
Now I ain't shore what all a whirlpool does,
But that's the cleanest that I ever was.

Back in town I was all bruised up and mean,
But the gals all said I was shore mighty clean.

April, 2014

For contest Just Make Me Laugh
judged 8/30/2016
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Gauthier Avatar
January 15, 2021 at 6:03 PM
Your cowboy poems are great. Sounds like this guy really went through the wash cycle~
Kimathi Avatar
September 7, 2016 at 8:56 AM
Congrats Larry, for your WIN with this wonderful piece!! ;-)
Scars Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 8:21 PM
Larry, congrats on your placement :)-luloo
Bradfield Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 8:48 PM
Thank you, Laura.
Smith Avatar
August 31, 2016 at 11:57 AM
Missed this the first time, glad you re-visited...shoulda won.
Bradfield Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 8:47 PM
Thank you, Charlie!!..Larry
Hoffman Avatar
April 7, 2016 at 7:55 AM
Hi Larry, no I wasn't much of a Cowboy Poetry fan till I read yours! Really fun reading!:)
Hoffman Avatar
April 6, 2016 at 7:56 PM
I loved that, especially the way you spell naked and sure, very cowboy like and humorous! :)
Bradfield Avatar
April 6, 2016 at 9:20 PM
Thank you, Cheryl. Are you usually a Cowboy Poetry fan?
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