The Big Kahuna

It was captain Macfarty the head of the party Commander of ship and of crew Who ordered “set sail” in pursuit of the whale That was known as Kahuna Kalloo It was huge it was quick and its scent made you sick For it smelled just like octopus poo It was big it was large ’bout the size of a barge Though some people would swear it was two From the harbour that night they went out and turned right Their course it was westward and true Chasing after the sun the adventure begun In the search for Kahuna Kalloo They were three days from shore or it could have been four When the lookout yelled down to the crew “Thar she blows and I think that because of the stink It could possibly be, you know who” Well, they put on their coats and they let down the boats Every jack tar he knew what to do They were fast they were quick and incredibly slick And prepared for what might now ensue With their feet on the floor and their hands on the oar They rowed like they’d been trained to do The captain was stressed and his trousers he messed ‘cause he didn’t have time for the loo Said the Captain “pull hard, you’ll be hung from the yard If he’s livin’ when this day is through” So they used all their might in the dwindling light To catch up with Kahuna Kalloo When they pulled alongside it was nearing high tide But they got in a harpoon or two Thinking watery graves they were dragged through the waves But the Captain, the Captain, he knew Big Kahuna was done and the battle was won The Captain said “Thanks” to the crew With a rope round its neck it was hauled up on deck As above them an albatross flew It came in pretty fast and it perched on the mast And the Captain, the Captain he knew For he’d known from the first that they all would be cursed For the death of Kahuna Kalloo