The alternative
When living gets too much
Unsure if the mind is out of touch
Neuro brain cells out of whack
Thoughts wanting to turn black
Racing thoughts are confused
Everything I try is being refused
Knowing I have no control
Ready to realise my heart and soul
Not knowing what’s up and what’s down
Not caring if I live or drown
The fight has been between out
Only my loved ones put me doubt
Always surviving a daily fight
Dragging every last drop of energy till night
Hoping that god will take me quickly
Instead of making me more sickly
If it was easy to make the final push
Hard to find the energy to get off the tush
Sapped of life from every direction
Maybe the next will be the last infection
So weak in the physical being
Mind arguing with body disagreeing
Part of me wants to make it through
But life has battered me and turned me blue
Those people make me feel crazy
Making me think my mind is more hazy
They lie and steal any last remaining trust
Like they want me to cry and self combust
Begging for help and peace within
There is more to me than just bone and skin
I have ability’s and skills
That rely on working pills
My mind is completely divided
Dark thoughts making memories misguided
Splitting the easy decisions from the tough
Making my body exhausted and rough
It would be easy to take the easy path
Not having to worry or face the wrath
Putting an end to the life given
Then ask god to be forgiven
I want and need the struggle to be over
Instead of breaking inside my enclosure
I don’t think I’m strong enough to proceed
This maybe the final push to concede
Today I will continue fighting
Tomorrow may give me the last ass wiping
Mind and body knows the struggle is coming to an end
When one part of the mind can no longer defend
Copyright ©
Andy DW | Year Posted 2026
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