Taking a Stab At Writing a Lyric

September is here
I wave goodbye to summer
Unpack the fall gear
Cold weather is a bummer!
I'm glad we're eased in
With leaves as they change color
Reminding me of when
I played tag with my brother.
Jumping into leaves
We raked up into a pile
Never misperceived
A landing spot worthwhile
Seasons changed again
And snow now covers his grave
So young he was when
He decided life would end
He thought he couldn't be saved.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2008


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Date: 4/20/2009 12:29:00 AM
Your lyric writing skills aren't bad, nice job...Raul
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Date: 10/9/2008 6:04:00 PM
the mixture of the two subjects kind of clashed. i like to keep the seasons apart from emotions not that what you have done is'nt the expression of a memory. except it comes so suddenly. sorry if i'm out on a limb and in your bussiness but you went from happy to suddenly sad. take another stab at it. each in it's own theme. john
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Date: 10/2/2008 2:09:00 PM
Dear Karen, thank you so much for delivering the fire of poetry back into me, I have not written anything in awhile, after reading your comments I now feel that there is a purpose in poetry. Your words enlighten me and I therefore cannot wait to indulge myself within your souls poetry, this lyric sent a burst of energy straight into my mind, I feel no shadow stopping me. I just want to say thank you and cant wait to read your work. Blessed be within thee. Bellantony
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Date: 9/10/2008 3:42:00 PM
this is the saddest poem of all become so many perish for lack of knowledge. the conversation should have been how to be saved instead or what saved people do. jhl
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Date: 9/9/2008 3:31:00 AM
Oh my, I'm so sorry, what a terribley heartbreaking recollection. I know all too well about this subject...one never get's over it...I'm so sorry love Kristin
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Date: 9/8/2008 1:58:00 PM
This is so sad...you have my blessings, and prayers...Always Christy...
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Date: 9/8/2008 1:39:00 PM
Karen this poem sure ended sadly - very well penned - God Bless
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