Home » Poems » David Kavanagh » Subsidence

Subsidence

Sloping hills roll nearby Sliding scree, drops awry Slanted rock face bone dry Slipping boulders, sweep by \\•,,, Shelves break off splinters fly \\\\\••,,, Sprawling dust blocks blue sky \\\\\\\\•••,,,, Skewed landscape forms hereby\\\\\\\\\\\••••,,, Written April 22 2021 for "Pleiades "S" Contest" sponsored by Kim Merryman Syllable counter PS 7x6

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Kim Merryman

Date: 4/25/2021 2:27:00 PM

I hate to admit this, David, but I had to look "Subsidence" up in the dictionary. Creative choice, well defined and it rhymes! I don't think they are supposed to but I don't have a problem with it. Congrats on your win! Blessings, Kim M

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/25/2021 2:51:00 PM

Heya Kim, I honestly wasn’t sure weather a Pleiades could rhyme or not, so I just kept the continuity going as the poem went into collapse , I’m delighted with your placement, subsidence is probably a word you never want to here, when talking about your house, or a hill nearby, cheers David

Gershon Wolf

Date: 4/24/2021 7:45:00 PM

Love the way you're rhymed this, David. It sure works well for me. Here's to your win in the contest! Happiness and Joy, Gershon

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/24/2021 9:15:00 PM

Heya Gershon, it was a first go at the Pleiades form, wasn’t sure if rhyming was allowed, but I seem to have got away with it, always great to get a placement, thank you for popping in with congrats, cheers David

Sotto Poet

Date: 4/22/2021 2:13:00 PM

I found the description fascinating and oddly original; there was a lot of iconic symbolism that would get my brain thinking of a slide. David, I wish you good luck in the contest, with my best regards.

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/22/2021 2:22:00 PM

Thank you Lasaad, if I can, and have some spare time I like to try add some originality, this is a 2 or 3 pronged approach, hopefully it works out, cheers David

Gary Radice

Date: 4/22/2021 1:52:00 PM

The pleiades form is certainly new to me but from what I've read - both about the form and your poem David - you've certainly knocked it out of the ball park as far as I'm concerned. Cheers - Gary

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/22/2021 2:00:00 PM

Thanks Gary, it’s my first go at a Pleiades, hope I didn’t over cook it, took a while to figure this one out, and keep the correct syllable count, cheers David

L Milton Hankins

Date: 4/22/2021 1:51:00 PM

Very interesting and unique presentation, David. I wish you the best in the contest.

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/22/2021 2:02:00 PM

Thanks Milton, I came at it sideways forgive the pun, was like putting a crazy puzzle together, cheers David

Jan Allison

Date: 4/22/2021 1:26:00 PM

excellent imagery it made me think of a landslip on the beach and I love the rhyming:-) hugs jan xx

David Kavanagh
Date: 4/22/2021 1:35:00 PM

Heya Jan I seen pictures on tv, few weeks ago south coast of England, huge landslip into the sea, lucky nobody out walking, cheers David