Steer South of Kokomo

This is Bart J. Connell from Channel KVIT NEWS RADIO Here is the forecast today over in KoKoMo. It will be raining cats and tigers out of the north. You might also expect some dog hail and so forth. I blink my eyes and look at my clock radio. What is it saying? What about KoKoMo? Can you repeat that? I ask, hearing just the last part. Will be raining acorns from the east, said newscaster Bart. Raining acorns, cats and tigers too? Dog hail? What should I do? I get dressed quickly, and hunt diligently for my left shoe. My dog has gotten ahold of it and given it a thorough chew. There is nothing left of it, which makes me rather blue. As I get into my car there is a loud plunk on the hood. I think it must be hail which was as loud as it was good. But no it is an acorn, and not just one; they come down hard. They break my windshield which really irritates this bard. Acorns are pelting me in the head as I head toward the house. I call that news station and ask to talk to Bart, the louse. How dare you say it would be raining acorns from the east. It is hailing acorns here, you lying stupid beast! Feel lucky, he tells me. The north is having a tiger rain. They come down and eat people; and that is such a pain. The cats are running wild, and there is dog hail also. So when you are driving, I would steer south of KoKoMo.