State of Numbness

7/24/21 She ain't got a clue And neither do The rest of you All this dumb s*** A continual ruckus Spreading like a harmful fungus Very little if any justice Always in a state of numbness Sometimes it all makes me sick to my stomach While at the summit of a cliff Feeling like I want to jump it And plummet Will suffer on or I'll be done quick Don't sound the trumpets Or act like Columbus Animals and materials becoming scarce, no longer in abundance At times it can be loveless Yet sometimes wondrous While going your own way or following a compass Either nothing or something below and above us Haven't found what I'm needing Searching every day and evening After whatever it is I'm seeking Trying to grasp the true meaning Of it all before I'm leaving Beauty and terrible things I'm seeing More than just a human being Always taking a beating Continually bleeding Difficulty sleeping Sometimes wheezing Having trouble breathing I use to often be dreaming And scheming It's all become displeasing Despite what I was believing Not doing well at stacking money to the ceiling I've been in more than my feelings It's gone past the point of screaming or weeping Constantly reeling And freewheeling Before the paint starts peeling Connecting the dots This all has got to stop I want a lot Far past time I shot my shot And pop it off Right on the spot